也许喜欢怀念你 多于看见你

I long for your hands, to reach out for mine, that's something gonna happen, that's something not gonna happen tonight.
Just finished a long insufferable night chocked up of meaningless gossips and insincere laughters. I hate myself when I feel kinda like losing myself and it happens from time to time ever since I've arrived here and that's, sheer crap.
There are always ppl I find hard to get along with, though we appear to be in good terms. Wired feelings gets on my nerves when they show up, I try to beat them up, and they turn into shadows that constantly keep me from the nutritions I long for. That's what i call a comspire. Non decent. Yep a victim paranoid that's the role I've been playing all through this life. Tricky yet fancy. Let me go on with the only personal game I'm allowed here in this confined asylum and let it be my own private juggernaut. I am and I will.
Just no alarms and no surprises please.